The Upside to a M.I.A. Father on Father’s Day

The Upside to a M.I.A. Father on Father’s Day

Don’t get me wrong.  Single parenthood is challenging.  I, in no way want to glorify single parenthood.  It can be downright hard  sometimes especially on days like Father’s Day.  I am not a single parent that thinks parenthood is designed to be for one parent alone and do not think kindly of well wishers that tell me happy father’s day on a day that is specifically designed for dads.  Children need TWO Parents, not one and when one is out of the picture, it is less than ideal.  Having no other parent in my son’s life has been quite painful for my son, and for me. It is like grieving a person that is not dead and can be even more painful, because we know the other person just choose to be M.I.A. and they aren’t in the army.  They simply chose to move on, without us.

At times like this, acceptance is the key. To make lemonade out of lemons, I chose to focus on why it is most beneficial for me to single parent, instead of a co-parent and move on with pride and dignity.

10 Reasons Why Single Parenting is Better than Co-Parenting on Father’s Day (and 365 days of the year).

  1. My son will no longer have his hopes up about a promise his father made, and then have his heart crushed again.
  2. My son will not have a negative role model in his life.
  3. Inconsistencies in phone calls, visits, and child support have stopped. The consistent no contact is healthy and predictable for my son and I.
  4. As a parent, I am free to introduce new healthy male role models about what it truly means to be a father.
  5. I ,as a parent, no longer feel the need to confer with anyone else about decisions I make about my son.
  6. I, as a parent, no longer need to make excuses to my son about why his father did not call, visit, or support him.
  7. My son can fully benefit from the village experience despite not having his father in his life.
  8. My son can now move on, knowing clearly  that his father has moved on.
  9. I get to learn how to throw a football, teach him how to ride a bike, and show him what it means to be there for him, no matter what.
  10. Peace is awesome.


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